A few Support related funnies that you may be able to relate to.

Computer  Tech Support

Tech  support:     What kind of computer do you have?
Customer:    A  black one…

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Customer:   Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my disc out.
Tech support:  Have you  tried pushing the release button?
Customer:  Yes, sure; the tray comes out but there’s nothing in it.
Tech  support:  Does disc content show up on your screen?
Customer:   …Oh! …wait a  minute….. I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry….

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Tech  support:   Click on the ‘My Computer’ icon on the left of the screen.
Customer:   Your left or my left?

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Tech  support:   Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer:   Hello…  I can’t print.
Tech  support: Would you click on “start” for me  and…
Customer:  Listen pal, don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.

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Customer:  Hi, good  afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer.’ I’ve even lifted the printer over and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can’t  find it…

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Customer:  I have problems printing in red.
Tech  support:  Do you have a colour printer?
Customer:   Aaaah…………………thank you.

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Tech  support:   What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer:   A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the carnival.

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Customer:    My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support:  Are you  sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer:  No. I can’t get  behind the computer..
Tech  support:  Pick up your keyboard and walk to the other side of the room.
Customer:   OK
Tech support:    Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech  support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in.  Is there another keyboard?
Customer:  Yes, there’s  another one here. Ah…that one does work.

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Tech support:  Your password is the small letter “a” as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, and the numbers 7274.
Customer:  Is the 7274 in capital letters?

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Customer:    I can’t open Yahoo calendar.
Tech support:  Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:  Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:  Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:  Yes… five stars.

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Tech support:  What  anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:   Hotmail.
Tech  support:  That’s not an anti-virus program..
Customer:   Oh, sorry… Internet Explorer.

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Customer:   I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my  computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support:  ….Who the hell transfered this call to me???

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Tech support:  How may I  help you?
Customer:  I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech  support:  OK, and what seems to be the  problem?
Customer:  Well, I have  the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around  it?

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A  woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech  support:  Are you running it under Windows?
Customer:   “No, my desk is next to the door, but that’s a good point. The guy sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and  his  printer is working fine.”

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And last but not least…

Tech  support: “Okay  Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That  brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now hit the  letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.”
Customer:  I don’t have a  P.
Tech  support:  On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech  support:  “P”…..on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!